Home looks different in every season of life

Looking back, I’ve realized that my family has always made housing decisions the same way. We’ve always chased the feeling. The feeling of community. The feeling of belonging. The feeling that comes from creating a life that reflects what matters most to us.

Over the years, that feeling has led us to different homes, different communities, and different chapters of life. What I’ve learned along the way is that our housing needs aren’t fixed. They evolve as our lives evolve.

When I was growing up, home was a rancher on an acreage in Surrey, British Columbia. My parents loved real estate and often bought and sold land. The property where I grew up had space to roam, horses, rabbits, gardens, and all the work that comes with maintaining a larger property. Looking back, it was my first introduction to the idea that a home is about much more than four walls. It’s about the lifestyle that comes with it.

As a young adult, my version of home looked very different.

Ryan and I started out in a modest condo in Guildford, Surrey. It wasn’t fancy, but it was ours. It was our first step into homeownership and a chance to build a future together without taking on more than we could comfortably manage. Then came children. As our family grew, our needs changed. We wanted more space, a yard, and a neighborhood where our daughters could grow up. Eventually, we found a home in Cloverdale that felt just right for our growing family. It wasn’t a large house, but it had character, wonderful neighbors, and a greenbelt behind it that made it feel like our own little piece of nature.

Those years were some of my favorites. We walked our daughter to school, spent time in the community, enjoyed local events, and built memories that will always be special to us. We also made intentional choices about the experiences we wanted our daughters to have. Both girls attended Fine Arts programs, which meant plenty of commuting and driving. It wasn’t always convenient, but we believed in creating opportunities and experiences that aligned with the life we wanted for our family.

Looking back, that’s something we’ve always done.

We’ve never been afraid to put in extra effort if it helped us create the lifestyle we were hoping for. For our family, one of those transitions came when both my parents and my family made a very intentional decision about where we wanted to be.

When my parents sold the acreage where I grew up, they purchased a home in Cloverdale around the same time that Ryan and I purchased ours. It wasn’t a coincidence. We wanted to be close to one another.

At that stage of life, family was becoming increasingly important. We wanted our children to grow up near their grandparents, and my parents wanted to remain closely connected to their family as they got older.

Interestingly, they didn’t downsize. In fact, they purchased another large home with plenty of space and a beautiful park-like setting. What mattered most to them wasn’t having less space—it was maintaining the lifestyle they loved while being closer to the people who mattered most.

Looking back, it reminds me that housing decisions are rarely one-size-fits-all. Every family has different priorities, and those priorities often change as life evolves. As the years passed, our own family continued to change. Our oldest daughter left for university, and suddenly our home felt different. Not empty, but different. It was the first glimpse of what life would eventually look like as our children grew up and began creating lives of their own.

Like many families, we found ourselves balancing multiple generations at once—raising children while helping aging parents navigate their own transitions.

A few years ago, Ryan and I thought we knew exactly what the next chapter would look like.

We sold our family home and moved into a suite we built within my parents’ home. The plan was to help them renovate and update their property, spend more time on Pender Island, and eventually relocate to Victoria so we could be closer to both our daughters and only a short ferry ride away from Pender Island. As part of that plan, we found a property in Victoria that we loved and submitted an offer. While I was still going through cancer treatment, we were actively looking ahead to what we thought would be our next move. But the inspection uncovered a number of issues, and the purchase fell apart. At the time, it felt disappointing. Looking back, it may have been one of the best things that never happened.

Not long afterward, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. Later, my mom experienced a serious fall. Suddenly, the plans we thought we had for the future looked very different.

Today, we’re grateful to be exactly where we are. Being close to my parents has allowed us to support them through challenges we never anticipated, and it has reinforced something I’ve learned many times throughout life: sometimes the path we don’t take ends up being exactly the right one.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve also watched my parents move through their own transitions.

The home they live in today once suited their lifestyle perfectly. But over time, the maintenance became more challenging. The yard work, the upkeep, and even the day-to-day responsibilities of caring for a larger property began to feel different than they once had.

One thing I’ve learned is that housing decisions aren’t just about square footage, property values, or real estate trends. They’re about how we want to live and what support we need during different stages of life. Sometimes people move because they want something bigger. Sometimes they move because they want something smaller.

Sometimes they move because stairs have become difficult, the property requires more maintenance than they want to manage, or because they simply want to spend less time taking care of a house and more time enjoying life. 

Sometimes people move to be closer to family, grandchildren, or the people they love most. And sometimes the right move isn’t about wanting something different at all. It’s about finding a home that better supports the life you’re living today.

As our children grow up, our parents grow older, and our priorities shift, many of us find ourselves asking new questions about where we want to live and how we want to spend our time.

Whether it’s acreage living, raising a family in a close-knit community, or moving closer to loved ones, the definition of the right home often changes with each season of life.

I’ve come to realize that every season of life brings new answers.

As I look ahead, I know there will be more transitions. Our youngest daughter will eventually move out. My parents’ needs will continue to evolve. Ryan and I will one day decide what we want the next stage of our lives to look like.

What I do know is that every stage brings new priorities, new challenges, and new opportunities.

Over the years, one thing has remained constant. We’ve always chased the feeling. The feeling of community. The feeling of belonging. The feeling that we’re exactly where we need to be.

And perhaps that’s what home is really about.

Not finding the perfect house, but finding the place that supports the life you’re living today.